I need you to stop being so mean to yourself.

If you are like me, you are good at allowing an unkind inner-dialogue to take root in your thought life. Perhaps it is prompted by a mistake or a quest for perfection but the reality is we are all too quick to cut ourselves down. 

When I struggle with negative self-talk I imagine saying the same unkind thing to either my mother or my daughter – two people I love and care for deeply. This imaginative exercise is convincing and eye opening! If I would not say those things to someone else, I have no business saying them to myself either. I find that using this technique has helped me re-train my inner dialogue to be generally more uplifting and as a result it has led to greater self-love. We must be intentional to only foster an internal narrative that is full of grace and kindness!

I need you to stop holding yourself back.

Change your perspective from focusing on all that you are not and rather focus on all that you are. You must deeply embrace all that makes you wonderful and unique. Maximize on the quirks and oddities because therein lies your differentiating factor.

There is no other person on the planet that has lived the exact same experiences as you, nor is there anyone that has the same passions, goals, drives and ideas as you. You are the only you.

When you start to feel less-than or inadequate it is time to recall all that you have experienced in your life. Consider the qualities and characteristics that define who you are and have transcended your various life experiences. When you pull back and look for trend lines, you will better understand where you have been and also where you can go from here. 

I need you to tune out your critics.

The world is not always a kind place. It will not pat you on the back, high five you or commend you when you do an excellent job. That must consistently come from within. Know your worth, value and measured contributions. Stand tall with a strong back as you consider your intrinsic value. It is not rooted in performance but in all that makes you, you. When the naysayers do their best to steal your sunshine, you must push past them into beautiful places that transcend their best attempts at bringing you down. Level up and rise! 

Find a way to be thick skinned enough that you can withstand cheap shots but don’t lose the beauty that comes with vulnerability. Be willing to balance these seemingly opposite qualities to face adverse interactions with an overcomer spirit. 

I need you to force the pause.

The world is moving faster and faster with each day. If you do not take time to intentionally slow down — or even stop altogether — you will completely wear yourself out. Not only that, the sweet and special moments that live in the details of your days will pass you by without the recognition of what is in front of your very eyes. Slow it down. Pause. Reflect. Refresh.

You may need to plan a personal retreat in which you step away from the every day demands and allow yourself the physical and mental space to dream big and recharge. It could be a couple hours one afternoon that you make time for the things that bring you the most joy. Nobody else will hit the pause button for you, the onus is on you.

I need you to embrace the complexities and make it wonderful.

Not only is the world moving faster but it is also increasingly complex.  With layers and layers of challenges you must be more committed than ever to seeking all that is wonderful. It is not about toxic positivity or a fake optimism. It is a deeply rooted conviction that it does not have to be perfect to be wonderful. Often I find that seeking the wonderful begins with reflections of gratitude. There is always something to be thankful for and often in the darkest times there is the possibility for the most piercing light to shine through.

We are all out here watching and waiting for the real you to show up and shine. We need you to feel a strong sense of ownership and to recognize that the world needs you to be the very best version of yourself. Remember, we all need you….