What do Candy Crush and a Dance Party have in common?

They are both ways I connect with my kids in an intentional and special way.

Meet Harper. 

She is my 8-year-old going on 18-year-old, responsible and typical first born. She is wonderfully imaginative and has a complex fox-world she “lives in at night” but also adores math for its predictability and objectivity. Harper is brilliant, beautiful and thoughtful. 

Harper is growing, developing and at times I have felt the sense that she needs me a little less each day. Ugh. Connecting with her has been challenging. While teaching her from home we have butted heads and had to work really hard to stay connected. Unexpectedly, Candy Crush has become part of our connection routine. 

At night, once she is snug between her sheets, I lay with her and we read a Bible story together. She typically has big questions or reflections based on what we read — and I love that! Once her exploring mind reaches a satisfying destination I get out my phone and the Candy Crush fun commences!

How silly that Candy Crush currently binds us, but it does! We work together on strategy and how to get all the jellies lined up. It is light hearted and weirdly relaxing. I just adore it. I can also tell that she feels super loved when we are playing our game together. It seems to satisfy the part of her that wants to be mature, grown and valued as a worthy thinking partner. 

Now that I’ve found a way for her to feel connected to me, I’m making sure we are consistent. It is something that I’m going to continue to insist upon at bedtime. And when Candy Crush one days loses its charm with us, I’m committed to finding the next iteration of what will bind us together and leave her feeling full. 

Meet Peyton. 

He is my 6-year-old silly boy who loves to sing and dance. His enthusiasm for life is contagious and I’ve heard from multiple sources that he gives the best hugs. He loves being loved and is the master cuddler in our family. My days start bright and early with my boy (ahem, 5:30 am) and involve blankets, our couch and cartoons. Can he please stay this sweet forever!?

With Peyton, our connection currently comes easy. If he is being hugged, held or tickled he is in his happy place. But if I want to make him feel abundantly loved, in a “smile so big your face hurts” kind of way, I know that a Dance Party is in order!

My guy loves to turn on his tunes and let loose. “Dance with me mommy!” is something that often echoes through the halls of our home. He wants that connection with someone he loves, doing something he loves. We hold hands, twirl each other around and he loves to teach me his moves. Not trying to brag but yesterday I actually did a ninja kick, twirl, drop to the floor combo, choreographed by none other than Peyton himself.

I love that Peyton invites me back into childhood, reminds me that life is worth dancing for and that music is meant to be felt in every inch of our bodies. We move, laugh, and both feel so very loved!

Two kids. Two very different connection points. 

As a mom, I love that I’ve been blessed and entrusted with two unique but equally amazing kiddos. For now, and forever, I’m committed to finding the connection points that will leave their heart full and assured that I love them forever and for always, no matter what.

When you think of those in your life you love most, maybe your children, spouse, or best friend, how do you foster a strong sense of connection? As life evolves and you grow the connection point may change. Be open to the thing, or things, that will make you both feel seen, heard, valued and important. Once you find it, cling to it and nurture it.